counting lyrics instead of sheep

I sleep very little. Partly due to the fact that I don't require much sleep. Mostly due to the fact that I'm not a fan of sleep. I don't like to ever feel idle, so it's very difficult for me to embrace it. When I'm trying to go to sleep at night, I often pick a topic to think about or make a to-do list in my head. Many nights, I will brainstorm my favorite song lyrics. I'm a music lover, so the list doesn't stop, I just eventually stop fighting the blinking eyes and cave in to my body wanting a little rest.

a few of my very favorite lyrics:

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As ev'ry fairy tale comes real
-Janis Joplin , "both sides now"

May the good lord shine a light on you
Make every song you sing your favorite tune
May the good lord shine a light on you
Warm like the evening sun
-The Rolling Stones, "shine a light"

I'm standing at the crossroads
Trying to read the signs
To tell me which way I should
Go to find the answer
And all the time I know
Let your love and let it grow.
Let it grow, let it grow,
Let it blossom, let it flow.
In the sun and in the snow
Love is lovely, let it grow.
-Eric Clapton, "let it grow"

You're my blue sky,
you're my sunny day.
Lord, you know it makes me high
when you turn your love my way
-Allman Brothers Band, "blue sky"

And hush-a-bye, don't ever think about it
Go to sleep don't ever say one word
Close your eyes,
you are an angel sent down from above
-Bob Dylan, "these dreams of you"

and i thank the Lord for the people I have found
-Elton John, "mona lisas and mad hatters"

If I leave here tomorrow,
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on, now,
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see.
-Lynyrd Skynyrd , "free bird"

Long you live and high you fly
And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry
And all you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be
-Pink Floyd, "breathe"

You used to be the best
To make life be life to me
And I hope that you're still out there
And you're like you used to be
We'll have ourselves a time
And we'll dance til the morning sun
And we'll let the good times come in
And we wont stop til we're done
-Steve Winwood, "high life"

Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes bends
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget
-The Eagles, "hotel california"

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
-The Beatles, "blackbird"

If you like any of them at all, listen to the whole song. Let me assure you that I love the notes just as much as I love the lyrics. Enjoy and Happy Friday

i want to come back as alex mack

Dear blog followers, or the one I may have left. Sorry I've neglected the blog. It's one of those things that's a habit or it's not. And lately I just got out of the habit of posting. I'm going to try to make it a habit to post every day, because let's face it, every day I have something interesting to say. Kidding! I'm not fascinating, but I do enjoy writing.

Anyway, today I have been thinking a lot about Amanda Knox. She is the girl convicted of murdering her housemate in Italy. I usually have an opinion on everything, but I cannot decide if she was guilty. This is driving me bonkers. I want to know. Why does it matter? I'm not sure why it bugs me. I just want to decided one way or the other. I realized this afternoon that the only way to know for sure would be to be Amanda. Then I thought, well maybe she told her attorneys. Or maybe she told her family. That got me to thinking, as I often do, that I wish I was Alex Mack. Who is Alex Mack? Well, when I was a pre-teen there was this show on Nickelodeon called The Secret World of Alex Mack. It replaced another show that I couldn't live without Clarissa Explains It All.

Alex Mack is an ordinary teenage girl, living with her parents and older sister in the corporate town of Paradise Valley. One day, while coming home from school, Alex is doused in toxic chemicals from an overturned truck. As a result she gains a number of superhuman powers, including telekinesis, the ability to project electricity, and the ability to turn into a liquid. Only trusting her sister and her best friend Ray with her secret, Alex must confront ordinary teenage issues while keeping her powers secret from those who wish to find her.

Alex could turn into putty and eavesdrop on her friends and family conversations. So many times I want to know the truth about things. It's not about being nosy or intrusive. I just have an investigative personality and everything fascinates me. I am curious about everything. EVERYTHING.

Where is this going you may ask? I'm getting there. I wish I could be some places and hear people tell what really happened. Like in the case of Amanda Knox. I have a gut feeling that she told someone the whole truth.

I can't help but have empathy for a girl that sits in a cell in a small town in Italy. A girl in her mid-twenties like me. At the same time though, it irks me to think there's a chance I'm having empathy for someone who killed another young girl.

Of course, I'll never know the truth. But it won't stop me from reading news articles, watching news coverage, and wishing an impossible wish that I sometimes be a 90s tv character named Alex Mack

news article about Amanda Knox:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/12/04/italy.knox.trial/index.html

serendipity to the core

"for whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea." -e.e.cummings

I spent a lot of time at the beach in October. Oh how my soul longs to live by the sea. Destin, Florida is a home away from home. My family has retreated to the same place for over a decade. We know the staff, year-round residents, and even the couple that puts out the chairs and umbrellas. I love traveling to new places, but nothing beats going to where you know you belong.

My favorite thing to do in the world is to go for a long run and then sit with a book on the beach to watch the sunset. One afternoon in my last trip I was reading by the ocean and I started to wonder what made the sea so special to me. I paused to stare at the ocean and it hit me: simplicity. It is that it is constant. It's so comforting to know that no matter how many things change within a year, I sit in front of that massive body of water, and everything seems to be well with the world.

On this particular day, something unique happened after I'd been sitting there awhile. Scott, a surfer, called out to me and said "ashley, look!" I looked up where he was pointing and saw something extraordinary: a double rainbow. On both sides of the sun was a rainbow. It baffled me because it hadn't even rained at all. He said that it was a very rare sight. It was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen. It was a perfect example of serendipity. I went to the sea expecting yet another lovely sunset, but I went away with something more.

When I go down by the sandy shore
I can think of nothing I want more
Than to live by the booming blue sea
As the seagulls flutter round about me
I can run about when the tide is out
With the wind and the sand and the sea all about
And the seagulls are swirling and diving for fish.
Oh – to live by the sea is my only wish.
-Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy

should i pay

Is it worth the price to pay for a blog makeover?
I need your opinion.
Keep it simple or spruce it up?!

we've hit the glass ceiling, so now what?

[to Katie]
Hubbell Gardner: You hold on and I don't know how. And I wish I did. Maybe you were born committed... I can't get negative enough. I can't get angry enough. And I can't get positive enough.
-The Way We Were
ok so i have a love/loathe relationship with Maureen Dowd. Yes the firey red haired columnist for the New York Times. Yes the uber left liberal. I check the New York Times like it's my day job. Like constantly. And every time she has a new column I will hesitate before I click on the link which will inevitably lead me to reading a column that makes me question what I once thought was so true.

So this one was about happiness. Males v. Females.--who's happier?
It got me thinking. I think women are more overwhelmed than they used to be. This whole breaking the glass ceiling effort was supposed to rocket women into CEO land where they could rise to the same position as any man. But ay- here' s the rub. Women still wanna cook. Wait. Stop. Not me of course. I don't wanna cook. But a lot of women still wanna cook.

Excerpt from her column: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/20/opinion/20dowd.html?_r=1&adxnnl=1&adxnnlx=1253885003-3X1x9abQGna8ny6wffaa7g

Women are getting unhappier, I told my friend Carl.

“How can you tell?” he deadpanned. “It’s always been whine-whine-whine.”

Why are we sadder? I persisted.

“Because you care,” he replied with a mock sneer. “You have feelings.”

Is that why women are unhappier overall? Because we care? That disturbs me and fascinates me at the same time. Does caring lead to overanalyzing which leads to feelings of helplessness and unhappiness?

Sometimes I feel sorry for my male friends. They say how was work? or how was yoga? or how was your weekend? A simply question in their mind. A question they probably want a "great" or even "fine" answer for. But no, usually they get something longwinded and by the end of the conversation I've told them what book I'm reading, what I had for lunch, and how I am freezing but no I still won't start wearing socks. Luckily they feign interest.

When I am frustrated with a person or situation or being overcommitted and am talking to one of my male friends, he will usually respond with this little line: "Then why are you around him/her?" or "Then stop." I usually respond "I can't. I care. So I can't stop." and they say "Then I don't know what to tell you. Wanna go get Wendys though?"

So what's the answer? Care less? I think though that caring is what is lacking in society. If people cared more, they'd give more. And giving more would lead to less poverty, and less suicides, and less unhappiness?

so hmmm. that's all i gotta say. hmmm.

Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally Albright: Which one am I?
Harry Burns: You're the worst kind; you're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.
-When Harry Met Sally

still seaside in my mind

"i get by with a little help from my friends." -the beatles

just got back from a long weekend in Watercolor, Florida with my fav pilot and his beautiful wife- ed & micha- and one of my favorite sorority sisters- K.Kirby! i'll post pics (the pictures on this post are from my birthday in march, just wanted to put faces with names) and stories soon. it was one of the most adventure filled and rejuvenating trips ever. here's one a fun one for now...

scene--- riding beachcruiser bikes at midnight in watercolor. we're driving over a bridge.
me (gazing out over the water): guys, isn't it beautiful here at night?
ed: do you see those people ahead?
me: gosh, it's just gorgeous
kait: ashley, do you see those people right THERE?
(i suddenly fly past a couple on the bridge, missing them by an inch or two)
me (yelling back at them): oops! so sorry! so very sorry
(my friends fall off their bikes dying of laughter)
kait: you almost took out those people! they were plastered to the railing.
ed: i think the girl considered jumping off the bridge...and they thought they were going for a romantic stroll...
moral of the story: watch where you are going.
and don't drink bourbon while behind the handlebars of a beach cruiser bicycle.
or you could end up behind bars- in jail!
eeeeekkkkkkkk

"The best thing you've ever done for me is to help me take my life less seriously." -the indigo girls

red rover red rover send october on over!

I scream summer.
Everything about me screams summer.
boo to wearing socks.
YAY TO GOING BAREFOOT.
boo coldness.
YAY HOTNESS.

But every cloud has a silver lining.
and Kentucky turning a wee bit colder has a silver one called KEENELAND. Keeneland is both a world renowned race track and the world's most prestigious Thoroughbred auction company.
This week I got oh so excited when I realized that I get to wear my Ralph Lauren Ginnie Silk Sash Riding Blouse (say that fives times fast!) that I purchased in Chicago many moons ago (this past August) in less than two weeks when I go to Keeneland. Wow, that last sentence was most definitely a run-on sentence. Jeepers Creepers. It doesn't matter though. Why? Because it's Keeneland season and all is well in the bluegrass!!

"I hope to have God on my side, but I must have Kentucky." -Abraham Lincoln