her cup runneth over...

As in the case of wines that improve with age, the oldest friendships ought to be the most delightful. --Cicero
I don't remember a time when Laurel was not in my life. I am two and a half years older than her, but we might as well have been born the same day because my earliest memory contains Laurel. There's something to be said for that...for that person that has been there as long as your memory goes back.

Laurel's mom and my mom have been best friends since they were in 5th grade. Pam, Laurel's mom, served as maid of honor in my mom's wedding. My mom served as matron of honor in Pam's wedding. If I was Catholic then I'm sure at some point a ceremony would have taken place making Pam and her husband my godparents. They are family.

The Laurel I know now can be described sweet spirited, elegant, intelligent, and displined with both work and school. The Laurel of my youth? Hell on wheels. She sang country songs at the top of her lungs. Drank a gallon of milk a day. Drug a dog named scooter around like it was a cabbage patch doll. Insisted on opening my birthday presents along with me at my birthday parties. Picture all that behavior combined with her also being the most adorable little girl you have ever seen. Her mom dressed her in the cutest children's clothing. She was the definition of the expression "awwww." Behind that though was guts and glory. She knew right out of the womb that it was just a matter of minutes before she was going to hit the stage and so therefore spent her young years preparing for that debut. I just knew she'd eventually have a tattoo. And a boyfriend name Zeke. Think Gretchen Wilson and that's what I thought Laurel would become. I would have taken her as a country music star, probably would have begged to have been her personal assistant. I am pleasantly surprised though to have seen her grow to be one of the most eloquent, mild mannered, and graceful women I know. A person of faith who wants to be a teacher. Little Laurel? Rambunctious. Adult Laurel? Classy.

When Laurel was little, she thought I hung the moon. No exaggeration. She acted as if I was literally the coolest person on planet earth. I remember going out to eat and if the waiter asked her what she wanted before they asked me, she'd say "Ashley, what are YOU getting?" This ran all over me! One time I think I even ordered something I knew she wouldn't like, to test her allegiance. Didn't phase her. She ordered the exact same meal. I should have been flattered because Lord knows I was NOT the coolest person on earth. I should have been delighted that she put me up on a pedestol. But it irritated me to no end. Then I remember the day that we went to dinner and she didn't ask what I was ordering. It broke my heart. That day I wished for was here and now I didn't want it anymore. I never envisioned a day that she would assert her independence and not strive to be just like me. If you are not convinced yet how much she loved me, let me tell you this: I nicknamed her Wart when she was younger. I don't remember why I started calling her wart but I did. I think I said it was because she never went away. She didn't even mind that nickname. Pretty sure she liked it. She would even write Wart underneath her signature when she sent me a card. Anybody else would have said, by the age of 16 at least, "pick another nickname, that's cruel!" But Laurel embraced it and kept the tradition alive up until a few years ago. And actually, while I'm thinking of it, I'd like to remind her that she's slacking on using that term of endearment when she sends me a card. Bring that tradition back.

Make no mistake though: deepdown I have always seen myself as Laurel's security guard. I will defend her to the death. Even though I don't fight, I will admit that when I've heard a story about anyone being mean to Laurel or hurting her feelings, I've actually considered hauling my hiney to the culprit's house and showing them who's boss. Laurel is so nice that I have never been able to understand how anyone could be anything but kind back to her. Very few people are completely free of mean bones. Laurel is one of those people. She is incapable of being rude or mean.

When people talk about having a sister, I've never felt like I missed out on having one. I never felt envious or jealous. I always felt like Laurel and I were sisters. We are both only children, so we kind of have the best of both worlds. We are sisters in every definition of the word, except we are not blood related. We each have a wonderful set of parents though too that have showered each of us with as much love and affection as any children in the world have received. We have been through countless experiences together: each of us has moved more than once to a different city, we've lost family members, experienced the joy of successes and the disappointment of failures. We've even watched a cow give birth. Nothing has been off limits in this friendship. What connects and roots us most deeply though is not supporting each other through experiences. It's not even that our moms are best friends. It's our bond in Christ. We pray, serve, and worship the same God. I can't imagine a better thing to share with a friend than a common love for the Lord.

Last night I get a text from Laurel that represents another experience in her life that I'll be there for: her upcoming marriage to her fiance Wes!
Last night I got this text from Laurel:
"Shut up! Wes just proposed! I am speechless."
I started to type back: "What?! But you're just a baby?!"
But instead I wrote back: "Did you say yes? ;) "
and she replied: "I don't let a good opportunity pass me by."
The funny thing is that while we were at The Frist on Saturday, I said to Laurel's boyfriend Wes "hey Wes, I hope you're ok with Laurel hyphenating her last name when you all get married, which I'm assuming you all will because we decided in Chicago she may need to hyphenate her last name. " I can't imagine what he was feeling inside knowing that he was about to propose.

So, I'm writing this to the loveliest girl I know. I hope she realizes I'm filled to the brim with excitement over this news. Her living out her dreams brings me as much joy, maybe more, as when my very own dreams are fulfilled. I am writing this also as my plea to her to not decide to elope. I know she is humble and doesn't like receiving a ton of attention, but I hope she'll let me be there. Whether it's a huge event with a gazillion people or a small affair with a few guests, I hope she'll let me be there. Because, with a few exceptions where I've failed to be there, I've been present for all the other big events of her life. This should be no exception. So please let me be first on the invite list. And when you send it, in the return address section, leave off the return address label. Just simply write Wart... and know that I'm thrilled you've never gone away.

Said Mrs. Browning, the poet, to Charles Kingsley, the novelist, "What is the secret of your life? Tell me, that I may make mine beautiful also." Thinking a moment, the beloved author replied, "I had a friend."

bridesmaidzilla has her day...

so lets be serious. I'm good at two things- being addicted to hot yoga and being a bridesmaid. The latter I've been good at for a number of years. This month duty calls 3 times. My weekends feel like Groundhog day. Wake up, pray I don't have a zit and pray I don't catch the bouquet. Do the same thing the following weekend. Don't get me wrong, I am honored that friends think enough of me to stand up beside them on the "happiest day of their life." (no wonder weddings are so stressful, whoever coined that phrase is probably sitting up in heaven laughing that they have been the cause of so much strife). Lately though, I've heard this "they ask you because you're such a great friend." If I was a great friend would I wear an Angelcourt Jewelry necklace that has a gun charm beside a charm that says "bridesmaid? I think not. (and the answer is yes to all you recently asked bridesmaids who want me to loan this lil jewel out to you for a day or two). Although I hope I am a decent friend, I think in actuality it boils down to those three little words "Only Child Syndrome". Only children cultivate friendships because we missed the comraderie with a blood brother or sister. Sound confusing? ask me to elaborate later. Don't want to get sidetracked from the point of this entry: to highlight some of my favorite moments in weddings. No, not the sweet ones. The laughable ones. So here we go. Sit back. Relax. And don't ponder what wedding each happened in. I'll never tell...

In no particular order with regard to date of wedding or level of ridiculousness:

*the one where on the way back down the aisle at end of ceremony my groomsman said "do you want me to pick you up and throw you in the baptism pool? That might be funny." No, it would not. It will be stupid and I'd have to kill you. (that's what I wanted to say)

* the one where a bride didn't want to kiss the groom on her wedding day. grossed her out. i bet their marriage is/was mucho romantico (no sarcasm intended, ok, yes it was intended)

* the one where I put my blackberry in my bra right before the ceremony started. hey, i had to check my messages right up until the last minuto. and hey, i bet the audience was fooled into thinking that A cup was a C cup. Jokes on them. You would think beast of burden playing out of my chest during the reception would've been a dead give away that something just wasn't right in my rack.

* the one where the photographer didn't constantly take pictures. I wanted to hit this person. It's the flip floppin digital age sista. Don't stop til you get enough. And you know you will never get enough to make bridezilla happy. So don't stop.

* the one where the grooms family and the brides family were fighting- at every possible moment. This was so pleasant. I wanted to get up and scream "Chicken before the egg people! Chicken before the egg! You are supposed to have the wedding FIRST and THEN the daughter/mother in law hate can officially set in.

*the one where the bridesmaids made fun of the father-in-law. I wanted to hit the bridesmaids. I have never understood the rationality behind poking fun. Good for them I was nice then. The way I am now, some black eyes would be matchin' those [insert fav color] dresses


And for any of the brides that may be reading this, yes of course I was lying when I said that YOU were in fact the prettiest bride I'd ever seen and will ever be. I want to be the prettiest one I've ever seen, duh. Stop. Someone thinks they will blog about faux paus during my big day that might never happen. Stop. You won't. To keep from the possibilty of being the real life version of the Runaway Bride, I will just plan to runaway with my lova run up to my fave mountain. You can't make fun of me if you can't find me.