taking a moment to write about a Senator that took a moment to talk to me

"The Constitution does not just protect those whose views we share; it also protects those with whose views we disagree." -Edward Kennedy

When I was 9, I took my first trip to Washington, DC. I'm not one of those people who remembers everything about her childhood. In fact, the big overarching memory I have is just constantly being happy. And to me, that's memory enough. Certain memories though I remember so many details that I could write a book on that certain experience. One of those is meeting Senator Edward Kennedy.

One afternoon we were in the capitol building. My mom somehow ended up in the seat of the capitol subway next to Senator Kennedy. Not wanting to crowd him, she moved as far as she could to her side of the seat they were sharing . He looked over and said to her "you can scoot over mam." The way he said it and the small talk he made with us until his stop made us feel so comfortable. He told us he was running late to vote on a bill. When we arrived at our destination, my mom whispered to me, "ask him for his autograph."

I mustered up the courage and asked "Senator Kennedy, I know you're in a hurry, but do you mind to give me your autograph?" He put his briefcase down, smiled, and said "of course I don't mind. What's your name?" I handed him the paper and pen I wanted him to autograph and said "Ashley." He looked up and said "how do you spell it?" That stunned me. At 9 years old, the spelling of your name is important. A-S-H-L-E-Y is the most common spelling of Ashley. Sometimes though the end is spelled L-E-I-G-H or L-E-E. I was so impressed that he cared enough to get the spelling of my name right. That spoke volumes to me. This man, in a hurry to vote on what was I'm sure a very important bill, in my country's capitol, cared how I spelled my name. I sat down being aware that I was in the presence of a powerful man but after the dialogue with him, I knew I'd also been in the presence of a great man.


From that point on, I've been enthralled with politics. Even when I hear bad things about a politician, I repeat over and over again to myself, "they are good at heart, they are good at heart." One of my favorite quotes, is one by Anne Frank that says "despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart." Her words have always amazed me. I think of what she went through during the Holocaust and think "how in the world was she still so positive?" But I guess the same could be said for my outlook on politicians. Despite the media running stories about corruption and affairs, I still believe the majority of politicians run for their offices with the intent of being public servants. I think many times they get sidetracked and become enamored with the money and power. That is sad. I pray though that most of them will stay focused on doing what is right. Naive, maybe. The alternative though, being bitter and negative, doesn't sound appealing to me. So I continue to hold a high level of respect for politicians.

I really liked and respected Senator Kennedy for the same reason I really like and respect John McCain. He reached across the aisle. He was known for that. A maverick like McCain on certain issues, like health care, but still able to speak to those who were on the other end of the idealogical spectrum. John McCain and Edward Kennedy were friends. Completely different views on multiple topics, but friends nonetheless, because they both deemed it important to embrace and not just tolerate those with different views. Sometimes when I'm in a heated debate with a friend about something, hellbent on being right, I remind myself that preserving the friendship trumps winning the argument. Because at the end of the day, nothing is worth more than relationships with others. I like to think that Kennedy had this view also.
The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives and the dreams shall never die. -Edward Kennedy

love at first quack

A couple of weeks ago I found out that my ducks passed away. It has taken me this long to be able to sit down (without getting overly emotional- pathetic i know) to write a memorial to my little foster duckies. These ducks were very special to me. Not just pets. But two little guardian angels who dropped into my life during a time when I really needed to be reminded of the simpler things in life. Finding out they were gone was not on my to-do list, not really what I wanted to hear. But for everything there is a season, a purpose under heaven. The bible assures us of that. And for my furry friends, their season on earth had ended. I was at a Junior Woman's Club meeting when I found out. We were talking about the "duck race" for the annual Duncan Hines Festival. The club members sell ducks forms aka raffle tickets. Then during the festival the ducks (note: they are pretend plastic ducks) race. The 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winners get cash prizes. One of the members joked that we could bring real ducks to the festival. A few people who knew I had the ducks said "ashley should bring her ducks!" I informed everyone that I had taken the ducks to a farm. The lady whose parents had "adopted" my ducks was there and ironically , she was in charge of selling the ducks forms. I could tell by the look on her face that she has some news for me and it wasn't good. Long story short, she informed me that Mick and Jagger had been killed, probably by coyotes. She said her parents, especially her dad "the duck whisperer", were very sad. Don't worry, my boss already pointed out the irony that I was at a meeting about duck races, getting my duck forms from the friend who'd adopt them, and then found out my live ducks had died. It's not funny, my friends. Ironic, yes but not funny.

The story of the ducks is one that I will always look back on and smile because it happened very unexpectedly. I didn't plan to ever own a duck. My journey with MickDuck and JaggerDuck really is serendipity. I woke up one day expecting a quiet day and went to bed thinking the day had been anything but quiet. My friend Laura called me up the Saturday before Easter and said "do you want to go with me to buy ducks?" Most people would have replied with a question, thinking it was strange that their friend wanted to buy ducks. But since I love being spontaneous I enthusiastically said "yes! of course! where and when?" Off we went to Tractor Supply Company. I didn't plan to purchase any ducks for myself. But seeing all of those people getting the ducks without purchasing any supplies made me convince myself that I had to "rescue" at least two. I know it was probably ridiculous of me to think I was honestly rescuing baby ducks, but I really did think I was saving them from people who wouldn't take care of them. So three hours and $56.29 later I had two ducks, one metal "habitat", an extra bag of wood chips, a medium size bag of duck food, a watering contraption, and a heat lamp. I spent an entire Saturday afternoon setting up the duck habitat in my guest bedroom in my house. Why the guest bedroom? Well because they were essentially guests and didn't they deserve a bedroom to themselves? I had been listening to The Rolling Stones all day so naturally I pointed at one duck and said "you shall be called Mick" and then turned to the other and said "you shall be called Jagger." They quacked, which to me was affirmation that they liked their names.

The next day Easter came and I took the itty bitty babies to my family get-together. It was a surprise for my cousins. Everyone agreed that Mick and Jagger really were the hit of the day. It was so wonderful to watch the children go from giddy excitement and fear of the creatures to calming down to a time of pleasant contentment--embracing them, cradling them in their arms. Easter, as in most holidays, came and left all too soon. That Monday I quickly realized that while I bought them to bring joy on Easter, I now had to fulfill my commitment to raising them until they could go to a farm.

It was not an easy road with Mick and Jagger. They took up a lot of my time, and turned this jet setting, always on the go girl into quite a homebody. I loved every minute of it though. One of my friends asked me quite bluntly, "why do you like those things living with you? Aren't they annoying" Quite simply, it was a taste of motherhood, a glimpse into a future that I hope includes a child (make no mistake- like in 10 years though). Feeding them multiple times a day, changing their diapers (ok, just the wood chips but this is where they relieved themselves), and rocking them to sleep in my hammock outside. My favorite part of raising them was the time at night they'd spend with me. The two of them would follow me everywhere, in single file. They would try to run as fast as their little webbed feet could take them, to catch up with me. I don't care for the word precious, because I think it's overused. But let me assure you that if their ever was a time to use the word precious, it is now. It was precious.

Alas, the day came sooner than I expected to put Mick & Jagger up for "adoption." They grew, and grew, and grew. What I had been informed would take 10 weeks actually took 3. My little overachievers were flying the coop, trying to leave home sooner than I'd expected. I'd get home from work and much to my surprise (and admittedly, delight), my furry little roommates would meet me at the door. It was time for the ducks to move from their foster home to their forever farm. I lucked out when my friend Tammy suggested that Mick and Jagger move to her parents place. It was paradise. I knew they'd be happy with a big pond, horse friends, and wide open spaces to roam. I hoped deep down they'd miss me and wouldn't forget me, but I knew I couldn't be selfish (or silly) and try to keep them in my city casa. I still know it was the right decision. I know they lived a good life, although shorter than I hoped, still a good life.


I may not have the desire to go to a turkey farm this Thanksgiving to purchase a mascot for the holiday (something tells me that turkeys will be a wee bit more high maintenance than the ducks were). Let me assure you though that when Easter rolls around again next year, you may find me leaning over a box in the middle of Tractor Supply Company, straining to hear which ducks seem to have a rock and roll inspired quack.

bridesmaidzilla has her day...

so lets be serious. I'm good at two things- being addicted to hot yoga and being a bridesmaid. The latter I've been good at for a number of years. This month duty calls 3 times. My weekends feel like Groundhog day. Wake up, pray I don't have a zit and pray I don't catch the bouquet. Do the same thing the following weekend. Don't get me wrong, I am honored that friends think enough of me to stand up beside them on the "happiest day of their life." (no wonder weddings are so stressful, whoever coined that phrase is probably sitting up in heaven laughing that they have been the cause of so much strife). Lately though, I've heard this "they ask you because you're such a great friend." If I was a great friend would I wear an Angelcourt Jewelry necklace that has a gun charm beside a charm that says "bridesmaid? I think not. (and the answer is yes to all you recently asked bridesmaids who want me to loan this lil jewel out to you for a day or two). Although I hope I am a decent friend, I think in actuality it boils down to those three little words "Only Child Syndrome". Only children cultivate friendships because we missed the comraderie with a blood brother or sister. Sound confusing? ask me to elaborate later. Don't want to get sidetracked from the point of this entry: to highlight some of my favorite moments in weddings. No, not the sweet ones. The laughable ones. So here we go. Sit back. Relax. And don't ponder what wedding each happened in. I'll never tell...

In no particular order with regard to date of wedding or level of ridiculousness:

*the one where on the way back down the aisle at end of ceremony my groomsman said "do you want me to pick you up and throw you in the baptism pool? That might be funny." No, it would not. It will be stupid and I'd have to kill you. (that's what I wanted to say)

* the one where a bride didn't want to kiss the groom on her wedding day. grossed her out. i bet their marriage is/was mucho romantico (no sarcasm intended, ok, yes it was intended)

* the one where I put my blackberry in my bra right before the ceremony started. hey, i had to check my messages right up until the last minuto. and hey, i bet the audience was fooled into thinking that A cup was a C cup. Jokes on them. You would think beast of burden playing out of my chest during the reception would've been a dead give away that something just wasn't right in my rack.

* the one where the photographer didn't constantly take pictures. I wanted to hit this person. It's the flip floppin digital age sista. Don't stop til you get enough. And you know you will never get enough to make bridezilla happy. So don't stop.

* the one where the grooms family and the brides family were fighting- at every possible moment. This was so pleasant. I wanted to get up and scream "Chicken before the egg people! Chicken before the egg! You are supposed to have the wedding FIRST and THEN the daughter/mother in law hate can officially set in.

*the one where the bridesmaids made fun of the father-in-law. I wanted to hit the bridesmaids. I have never understood the rationality behind poking fun. Good for them I was nice then. The way I am now, some black eyes would be matchin' those [insert fav color] dresses


And for any of the brides that may be reading this, yes of course I was lying when I said that YOU were in fact the prettiest bride I'd ever seen and will ever be. I want to be the prettiest one I've ever seen, duh. Stop. Someone thinks they will blog about faux paus during my big day that might never happen. Stop. You won't. To keep from the possibilty of being the real life version of the Runaway Bride, I will just plan to runaway with my lova run up to my fave mountain. You can't make fun of me if you can't find me.

circle of life

"From the day we arrive on the planet; and, blinking, step into the sun; there's more to see than can ever be seen; more to do than can ever be done; there's far too much to take in here; more to find than can ever be found; but the sun rolling high; through the sapphire sky; keeps great and small on the endless round"
-Elton John, The Circle of Life lyrics for the movie The Lion King

When I was young a movie came out called The Lion King. Not that I'm old enough to talk about the good ole days, but let's pretend I am. Because in the days I was young, Disney movie releases were a big deal. I'm talking huge. Elementary school classrooms were always buzzing with chatter about the latest characters, from Beauty to Jasmine to Simba. I remember sporting my Little Mermaid backpack in the first grade. I thought I'd surely be the hottest commodity in my class when I showed up with that thing adorning my back. What girls will do to get noticed, even at the age of 6. As a child, the one movie that I couldn't get enough of though was Cinderella. The whole notion that one shoe could change your life captivated me. Let's be honest, it still does or I wouldn't have an embarrassing amount of gold ballet flats. But as I've grown up, the Disney flick that I've grown fond of is The Lion King. I think so many principles in that film can apply to our lives. The lessons about unwavering friendship, loyalty to family, intrinsic need for purpose, desire to serve your community, and belief that true love always finds a way.

So imagine how I filled with joy when I realized that I had stumbled upon the perfect example of the circle of life. Yesterday I went to the funeral of Dr. Wright aka Buck Wright. I was so grateful that my parents had called to let me know of Dr. Wright's passing. I'd like to really make the story of him delivering of me 26 years ago a unique one (and according to my parents, it is) but this man delivered half of Bowling Green. I am one of thousands. What makes this man unique among thousands of obstetricians? The pastor did a wonderful job explaining how he really was an extraordinary man, and most importantly, incredibly Christ-like. Just as Christ died and delivered us from our sins, Dr. Wright also had a theme of deliverance in his life. He delivered babies, yes. This doesn't need explanation for why it is a truly special gift. But what a lot of people didn't know was that he was very active in the ministry of Alcoholics Anonymous. Through his own personal battle that he had overcome, he was able to save countless people from a lifetime of addiction to alcohol. Some one may know how many babies he delivered into the world, but no one will ever know how many people he kept alive through his ministry with AA. It stuns me to think of the impact he had on people in my community during his lifetime.

I feel so blessed to have been able to say farewell. How amazing that I saw him out of the world he saw me into. The circle of life indeed. The Elton John lyrics "and it moves us all, through despair and hope, through faith and love, till we find our place, on the path unwinding, in the Circle of Life" have never been truer in my life. I was moved to tears in that moment- reciting the Lord's prayer at a service honoring the person who helped me take my first breath. The meaning of life never made more sense. It was a wonderful reminder of how much I admire my elders, of how I really believe everything comes full circle, and how I know that my heavenly Father surely does work in mysterious ways.
"to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived; this is to have succeeded." -ralph waldo emerson